Guy & Girl after their first sex. Girl: Sarap naman nun! Ano yun bolitas? Guy: Ah hinid. Natural yun, kulugo.
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake. The owner of the farm shouted: "Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars. The silence was deafening. Suddenly, a man jumped into the water. He was chased by crocodiles, but with great luck he was unharmed. The owner announced: "We have a winner!!!". After receiving their reward, the man and his wife returned to the hotel room. The man tells his wife: "I did not jump in myself ... Someone pushed me !!!" His wife smiled and said coldly: "It was me!" Moral of the story: "Behind every successful man, there is always a woman to give him a little push"..
Guy: Babe, try tayo ng ibang postion, yung cat style. Girl: Ha? Paano yun? Guy: Parang lang siyang dog style, pero dun tayo sa bubong.
Engineers constructed the longest bridge in the world and named it, "Chuck Norris Bridge" in honor of Hollywood action star, Chuck Norris. The Department of Homeland Security intervened and told them to stop this horrendous endeavor because they said, "No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives."
CTTO A Jew went to the Vatican and insisted on seeing the Pope. After a long wait, the Pope showed up and asked what he could do for the Jew. The Jew said that he was a cook, his father was a cook, his grandfather was a cook, his great grandfather was a cook and his is a family of cooks that goes back thousands of years. The Pope was perplexed and asked "but what can I do for you?" The Jew said: "The bill for The Last Supper remains unpaid".
Putin joke Putin was walking through Moscow and found a really long line - not unusual in Russia - but he joined it to see where it went. Every time someone in front of him saw that he was standing behind them - they left the line… Finally Putin asked someone “What is this line for and why are you now leaving it?” A Babuska said, “This is the line for US Visas - but if you are applying for one - I don’t need it anymore…”
One beautiful sexy employee hit a 5 million lottery jackpot. Her company thought if the news is told to her suddenly, she may die from shock due to happiness and excitement. So they assigned the job to Tony, her best friend, to inform her in such a way that she doesn't die of shock. Tony went and started... Assume you hit 1 million Lottery. What will you do? Girl: I will strip Nude in front of you. Tony : Imagine 2 million. Then? Girl : You can have me as many times as you want! Tony: Super, but if you win 5 million, then ??!! Girl : I will go oral on you day and night .... You can do all unthinkable things to me. And I will give you half the money .... . Bastard Tony died of excitement and cardiac arrest!
