Parenting

Discussion in 'General OT' started by porkypork, Dec 11, 2018.

  1. porkypork

    porkypork Active Member

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    Good day, guys. Can we start a thread for all things under parenting? Just can't find a decent online "support group", there's one in FB but is only for Moms (How sexist! :whistle:)

    Anyway, decided to open up this thread for me to gain different insights from fellow PMugger parents, that me and my wife can apply to our first born. I don't know how we can tackle different topics in a single thread, but I think we can do it if we keep topics light and just post links for further reading/reference?

    I'll start one of my concerns(pet peeves, actually):

    How do you deal with old wive's tales, superstitions, religious beliefs? I just brush it off if it's from random stranger or friends, but can't really do that if it comes from your in-laws. Common ones I hear are : Usog/bati, shouldn't take bath on certain days, etc.

    As most of you guys here, I'm more evidence-based and scientific with pretty much most of the stuff in my life, that's why I've always questioned crazy/radical superstitions and religious (sorry guys) beliefs and practices.

    ***now, I'm not really sure anymore if this first question quickly escalated to dealing with in-laws, but I hope you guys understand my concern...:rolleyes:***
     
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  2. potpot2

    potpot2 Well-Known Member

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    I dont believe in usog. I and my wife. But we dont contradict openly my parents and my in laws. I know they mean well.
     
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  3. Theus

    Theus PhilMUG Addict Member

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    As long as they don’t put laway on my kids im good. the moment they make pahid their laway, ibang usapan na yan! :ROFLMAO:

    But seriously, i hear you but you sound like you’re under 1 roof with in-laws? I hope not. In any case, best you remain respectful. You can always express your disagreement in a non condescending manner.
     
    #3 Theus, Dec 11, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2018
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  4. porkypork

    porkypork Active Member

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    No (whew), but we visit regularly. Hence, the collective reminders poured into a couple hours. (Maybe I opened this thread just to rant out. LOL!) Kidding aside, and to help others in the same situation. What I do is relay to them, hoping that they're open enough to adjust their beliefs to modern times, what our pediatrician and studies say about certain beliefs.

    i.e. : Pedia advised against belly wrapping/bigkis and putting coin on the navel as well as putting aceite de manzanilla as it may(and actually has) caused minor burns to newborns already. They usually just agree (or stop) if we say the pedia/professionals advised it.
     
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  5. hitme64

    hitme64 PhilMUG Addict Member

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    "Nung maliit pa daw ako, nausog daw ako ng tita ko…" Look what I have become because of that...:p

    Superstitious tales from parents and in-laws are just that, tales...you either believe them and fall for it until you find out how idiotic those were, or you don't and sometimes earn the ire of the oldies until well into your 50s...

    Take stock that you can always leave the homestead and live on your own with your family, and when your kids grow up and they too have children, pass on the same tales told to you long time ago, and say "Hala, ganun kasi sabi nila Mama sa amin nung bata pa kami..."

    And the cycle continues on...
     
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  6. nethrow

    nethrow Active Member

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    Ah yes, I've had my fair share of that from the two lolas who alternately take care of our little boy. He's four now, but there were bigkis/manzanilla episodes as well from a few years back. We generally just agree/nod our heads when we're told about those "reminders", and do as we see fit.

    We find it generally harmless, so we just let it slide. The bigger headache with having a Lola around is when our son starts to have the same quirks and idiosyncracies as Lola. Ayayay.
     
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  7. shaft

    shaft Well-Known Member

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    yes take extra precautions dealing with in-laws. One thing i found effective was an advice from my aunt just before i got married. Advice she gave to both me and my would be wife that time. Whenever you get into a fight/disagreement w/your better half try to make it a rule not to confide with your mom or dad. Cause when you guys patch-up, whatever you confided with your parent/s wouldnt be undone w/the said parent/s. He/She will have a sustaining picture/smudge of your better half no matter what from then on.

    The kids will also grow up fast. I also noticed that some kids who spent the majority of their time growing up with their Lolos and Lolas tend to become spoiled brats.
     
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  8. Juice

    Juice PhilMUG Addict Member
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    I was shocked when one of our relatives put laway on my kid's feet while they took turns. I was WTH? I washed my baby's feet on the sink with soap. While they were explaining what that was, I was explaining infection by passing fluids. I am now the bad guy.
     
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  9. porkypork

    porkypork Active Member

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    I'm wondering how we can moderate this thread. Off the top of my head, these are some of the topics I personally wanted to discuss here:

    - Use of gadget/TV time (I'm excited to hear what this community here can contribute about this since we're mostly techies here.
    - Dealing with bratty friends/cousins without badmouthing the brats.
    - Not being materialistic, kinda connected with gadget time as I noticed most kids are watching YT vids of unboxing and kids playing with toys.
    How to have them stay put without having to put a phone or tablet in front of them (all our pamangkins are like this!)
    - Educational Journey (Considering the Waldorf system).
     
  10. potpot2

    potpot2 Well-Known Member

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    With gadgets, i let my children be. I let them self discipline. Im lucky that we were bless with good kids. They know when to stop.
     
  11. greta87

    greta87 PhilMUG Addict Member

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    this one is fairly easy when they're still small.. it can get unwieldy once they get older.. especially so when most schools now require students to have their own ipad/tablet as an educational tool/medium.. Assignments are emailed; textbooks are now ebooks, projects are in digital format or need to be uploaded etc.. it's nearly impossible to tell whether your kid is doing homework or just goofing off when you see their eyes glued to the ipad screen... I've just been lucky in the sense that my daughter is fairly responsible and does very well in school, but even that doesn't stop her from spending too much time with youtube etc...
     
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  12. catalysmic

    catalysmic Active Member

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    My Kids are now 18 and 14.. All grown up and transitioned to gadgets & Internet.. I am a bit old school so.. bati, usog & tiktik are part of life.. not that i believe it per se... laki rin kasi ako sa Lola.. so all the laway hilot vicks alcamporado efficasent oil etc are welcome.. rite of passage i guess..

    Mga seniors ganun talaga.. they see their Apo,, they see you or their anak sa new baby.. They feel they have a new mission hehehehe..
     
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  13. mackymd

    mackymd Well-Known Member

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    I have a 17 and a 13 year old son and daughter. I started their tv and gadget discipline at a very young age. My kids are trained to turn off the TV by 8:30 pm (their sleeping time). This was when they did not go to school yet. Now, no TV, no console playing during school days. They are only allowed to watch TV if it is news or current events. iPads, that is difficult to control since a lot of school work and books are in the Ipad. Also they do not have TV's in their rooms.
     
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  14. rbenzon

    rbenzon Super
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    Tigas ng ulo. Siguro dalawa ang puyo mo, 'no? ;)

    Ganito lang ‘yan:

    Lagyan ng lapis ang ilalim ng unan ng sanggol upang lumaking matalino. Baka magmukhang Mongoloid.

    Magiging bobo ang bata kapag inupuan ang libro. O lumaking smart ass.

    Pag tapak ng isang taong gulang, isilid ang ginupit na buhok sa gitna ng aklat, para lumaking matalino. Buhokworm.

    Pisilin ang ilong para tumangos. At hindi mahalata na hindi ikaw ang tunay na ama.

    Malas paliguan ang sanggol sa gabi. Lalaking pokpok.

    Masamang ipahalik ang sanggol sa kapwa sanggol sapagkat hindi ito matututong magsalita. Lalaking pedophile.

    Pag umiyak ang sanggol sa binyag, lalaking mayaman. Marami siyang mabibinyagan.

    Pag anim ang daliri ng sanggol, mapalad. Yung girlfriend.

    Ang pinatuyong pusod ng sanggol na suhi, maswerte sa sugal. Wanna bet?

    Iwasan ang hamog. Because “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, which is banned.

    :D

    Ganyan. Roll with the punches. Parenting is more art than science. :)
     
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  15. porkypork

    porkypork Active Member

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    Pwede ho ba kayo makuhang ninong ng anak namin? HAHAHA! I'll promise to avoid being that "thinking class"
     
  16. lsalapare

    lsalapare Well-Known Member

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    Hi guys. Not sure if this is the proper thread but for those parents out there, I would like to get your feedback about child development center.

    My daughter is already 18 months old na
     
  17. hitme64

    hitme64 PhilMUG Addict Member

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    A child development center at your church is a good start, but not all have that kind to cater to tots and toddlers. But I always believe that a child develops more in the company of other children and learns what he/she sees, hears and tastes in the surroundings he/she is in. A good moral fiber must also be embraced by them at an early age and shape the way they understand about humanity which a church, of whatever denomination and belief, can show to them. Of course, this is what we believe in and not in any way what we want others to follow.
     
  18. docjbr

    docjbr PhilMUG Addict Member

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    I highly recommend sending her to a play school. It literally is what it is, it's play based learning, which is their best environment in the toddler years.
     
  19. lsalapare

    lsalapare Well-Known Member

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    I'll take note of this! Time flies so fast. Dati more about chicks ang post ko but now it's how to raise a kid na wewww hahaha

     
  20. Noel Nuguid

    Noel Nuguid New Member

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    on this topic, we started off by NOT having cable TV. all the kids can watch are a curated list list of movies / tv shows stored on an external hdd.

    In terms of netflix, we usually watch with the kids but ONLY after we prewatch each and every episode/movie. netflix is quite notorious in embedding values that are not aligned to our family values.

    As for gadget time, kids can only use digital gadgets every saturday but only if they did well in school (we’re homeschooling). and they only get 2 hours.

    Games are also curated and i often play with the kids so it can also be bonding time (minecraft for the win!)

    i am also looking forward to looking to using apple tv+, news+ and arcade to help me manage the media the kids consume.
     

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